Seeing Myself In The Conversation – Part 1

I am sick of body talk. I don’t want to talk about it let alone write about it. I feel like…enough already. Ya know? I mean we are full fledged attacked with messages about our bodies every flippin’ day. Seriously, you open facebook (maybe that ages me…take any social media that fits here) on any given day and your sweet innocent brains will be required to pin point, decipher and digest a kajillion different messages within minutes.

There is the push for health.  Like the pictures of the home cooked healthy meals people are eating, the endless gym selfies, quotes & memes about body health from life coaches and body gurus, and all those body loving articles, programs to learn self love that you need to sign up for, books that you need to read to learn to love yourself……….all telling us to be happy with the skin we’re in.


Let me just say. I support this movement with all of my own skin and all that’s underneath it. Self confidence, healthy lifestyle, and vibrant living are all priorities for me and in how I parent. It’s a worthy cause with a lot at stake. I’ve taken a two footed cannon ball jump into this love yourself pool. It’s just that I feel like I am just hanging around doing the doggy paddle and tiring myself out rather than letting go, flipping over to my back, and floating. I want to float people. I want the sun on my face while I allow and be and all that goes with this sort of sweet, I am who I am and I am pretty freakig awesome, surrender.

My frustration, and why I am still doing the doggy paddle, is due to all that we are up against and the mass confusion that the conflicting messages are causing in our same sweet innocent brains.


On those same social media sites (and mind you I am not even touching radio, movies, video games, billboards, magazines, or the simple conversation over lunch with friends and co-workers) you are also bombarded with the opposite. Ok, so this may be a silly one to start with but what the heck. Let’s just take those fast forwarded recipe videos (the ones that suck my brain cells out while I sit and watch the whole thing knowing I will NEVER attempt to make them) for example. The majority of these are for foods that we have labeled at tasting “good” but being so “bad”.  That whole mentality of good and bad around food and body is messing with us. What we eat and how we exercise are not a question of morality.
Why do we feel the need to torture ourselves with what we think we “shouldn’t” have or do? Or why are we unable to just enjoy it for crying out loud? If we loved ourselves wouldn’t we want to go with good? But then there is the question of what you have deemed “good”. Are we saying it is good to eat and do things that feel good and be an in the moment and throw caution to the wind person OR are we saying it is good to eat and do things that are what we perceive as healthy for us in the long run and be a kale eating marathon runner who meditates and does mirror affirmations? I know I may be simplifying this (or maybe I am too all over the place to make any sense of it at all) but these are the questions I ask myself and what I see my girls beginning to question for themselves.
Seriously, a commercial with a big boobed, tight abs, short get the picture…..girl eating a big fat burger. There is so much societal crap to unload on this one that I will not attempt to dive into right now. However, I will say that it is CONFUSING.  Listen, I vote for her eating the burger, 100%, but we cannot deny the mixed, warped message it is sending little girls when it is followed by a Jenny Craig commercial.
We are telling our little people to love and enjoy all of who they are BUT, if you want the world to love you too, be sure to do it in a tight, small, and airbrushed body.
Ugh. My brain hurts.
So here I am, ready to talk about it all. My need to have this conversation is less heady and more gut level. My hesitation comes from the fear of making it too personal or not seeing the bigger picture. Yet, I can’t avoid it. I already did the cannon ball into this pool. If I am ever going to enjoy the sun on my fabulous self loving face, or be able to teach my girls to enjoy that same light, I have to be willing to drop confusion as my excuse to keep swimming. I have to be willing to allow whatever surrender looks like for me to support my letting go.
I can see my reflection staring back at me here. It’s time to be part of the conversation.

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